When The Sea Split….

When the children of Israel reached the sea, all hope was lost, they thought for sure there was no way out, and Fir’aun was finally going to catch up with them. They said as revealed in Surah (26: 61) “..we will surely be overtaken…” But Musa (AS), had full tawakul in Allah, and he said in Surah (26:62) “.. Nay, verily with me is my lord, He will guide me”  Then Allah (SWT) instructed Musa (AS) in surah (26:63) to strike the sea with his stick and the sea split and the children of Israel were saved and Fir’aun and his group were drowned.

Pause for a moment dearest sis, what situation are you in right now that it seems like there is no way out?

This reflection is for my fellow sisters who feel broken and feel like their glass is completely empty and not sure how to even start refilling it. To my sisters who are exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure where to start. To my sisters who are too shy to admit that even though Ramadan is around the corner and so many people talking about having a plan, making a dua list, planning an iftar menu and invitations, the acts of ibadah you’ll engage in, you feel stuck and cannot even figure out where to start from. I say to you sis, you are not alone. Ramadan no doubt is a time of spiritual high for many people and it can be a good thing to set goals and plan ahead. But some people struggle to feel that connection or experience that spiritual high expected for so many reasons, and because everyone is talking about how excited they are, you feel like a hypocrite for not feeling that excitement.

To my sis who is lost, I would say do not despair in the mercy of Allah who is the most merciful. The children of Israel lost all hope, but Musa (AS), our example, knew better. In our most difficult times, in times when we cannot fathom a way out, hold on tight to the rope of Allah and do not lose hope. Do not worry about how everyone is sharing their Ramadan goals and how you do not even have a single goal written.  Remember we are all in different seasons and stages of life with different circumstances as well as different support systems available to us. Do not hold yourself to the same standards as everyone else when you do not even know their full situation. Remember Allah judges each of us according to our unique life situation. Everyone’s’ trial is different. Remember your lord is full of mercy and he wants us to be merciful to ourselves.

While feeling down, one thing you do not want to do is lose hope in Allah and that is exactly shaytans’ plan. If the only thing you can muster is “Ya Rabb, please help me” hold on to that and keep at it. Repeat it over and over again. Let the tears flow if they come. Know that you have a lord who understands your needs more than you or anyone around you.

Sometimes we cannot fully find the words to articulate our needs and wants. We may feel too overwhelmed we do not know where to start. “Ya Rabb, please help me” is a good starting point. In those five words, Allah understands you more than you can imagine and he knows just what you need, he will come to your aid because he said in Surah 40:60 “…Call upon me and I will respond to you…” All you need to do is call and keep calling. Know that your lord would never forsake you if you hold on to his rope.

So, my dear sis who is not sure how she’ll pull through with all the to-do lists this Ramadan, “Ya Rabb please help me” should be the motto. Do not worry about the how do not try to calculate the possibilities because with Allah you can truly never know how he’ll open doors you never even knew existed. I am sure the children of Israel never imagined in their wildest dream the sea was going to split, but it did and they were saved. So do your part, be vulnerable with your lord, the kindest and subtle, the one who never judges you but is always ready to surround you with his mercy.

A Reflection About Teaching Kids Importance Of Dua

 

During Ramadan we usually try to hype up the last 10 nights for our oldest son as well as get him involved in as many ibadaat as he can handle.One of our strategies was getting him to make a dua list for the last 10 nights then getting him to stay up as late as possible, reciting Quran, reading Islamic kids’ books and making the duas on his list all with lots of snacks on the side😅😆

During this time, I am reminded of the innocence of kids, their beautiful and imaginative soul is remarkable. I remember one Ramadan reading through his dua list and giggling silently inside because of some of the things he wrote down. One of his dua was "Oh Allah make mommy's plants grow". This was at the height of the pandemic, and I was home a lot with the boys, so I decided to do some backyard gardening. I planted some vegetables, and the day he saw the first tomato fruit yield he jumped with so much excitement, ran to me and shouted, " mommy Allah answered my dua, there is a tomato fruit". To see how excited, he was because of the manifestation of his dua was beautiful.

Another dua he made was he asked Allah for Legos. I laughed when I saw this dua because I knew I was not going to buy him Legos. As a pediatrician, I sometimes imagine all the horrible things I see in the hospital will happen to my kids. So sometimes I am too protective and excessively cautionary. I am personally not a fan of Legos because of some of their small parts. In my adult human mind, I am thinking “this is one dua that would not be manifested because mommy won’t be buying Legos” Subhan Allah, how forgetful we are as humans, that Allah is able to do all things. I assumed because I was his parent, I was the only one who could take care of his needs.

A few weeks after Ramadan one of my husbands’ aunts visited the boys. Before she left, she asked my son if there was anything specific, he wanted and he told her he wanted "Legos" specifically "Star Wars Legos ". When my son mentioned aunty asked if he wanted anything and he requested Legos I knew immediately his dua would be manifested. This aunty happens to be one of the most generous human beings I ever met, and she has always been someone very generous to our family. A week later we had Star Wars Lego waiting for my son in the mailbox. Subhan Allah! My son of course was ecstatic, he did not even remember he had made dua for Legos in Ramadan. I reminded him of his dua during the last 10 days of Ramadan and encouraged him to be thankful to Allah and say Alhamdulillah. I used the opportunity to remind him that whatever he needed, even if mommy and daddy cannot provide it, nothing is impossible for Allah, and we should always depend on Allah

My son was only seven at the time. We are slowly working on his art of making dua through practice. We try to keep a family tradition of making dua together after maghrib salah every day. My husband and I take turns each day, but we have also assigned him a specific day to make dua. He knows it is his turn to make dua on Saturdays and even though sometimes he is grumpy and makes it begrudgingly, he is learning and improving his art of making dua.

Now that he is getting older, he is starting to ask questions like “but I made this dua Allah did not answer”. SubhanAllah, even we as adults have similar thoughts. It can be a difficult concept to explain to children who usually want instant response to their asks. I try to reassure him that Allah answers all our duas and nothing is left unanswered. We keep having discussions repeatedly about how Allah can answer our duas in different ways; either he give us what we asked for at that time, or he may delay his response, or he might give us something better, or save it as a reward in the hereafter or may use it to ward off an evil. Anytime we escape a potential bad situation, I draw analogy for him about how that might be a protection from Allah from one of the supposed duas we think are not answered. I also reassure him that sometimes when he asks mommy and daddy for things, we sometimes give a list of conditions before we fulfil his ask, hence we delay the response.

These are very nuanced discussions even we adults struggle with it, much less a child but I try to open these discussions and discuss it as age appropriate as possible hopefully building that foundation to make them strong believers in the power of dua and to always depend completely on our Rabb.

A few ideas on how to get our kids on the path of dua:

1.     Make dua a part of family routine and have your kids participate, you may consider assigning them a specific day or take turns during a session. For example, you may say everyone make one dua each and ensure everyone says something even if it is for something very small or seemingly insignificant.

2.     When your kids make a request from you rather than just obliging, encourage them to make dua to Allah for it. For example, if our sons want something we sometimes tell them “You have to make dua that Allah gives mommy and daddy money to be able to afford that”

3.     Enroll them in fun and beneficial classes that teach the concept and art of making dua. DiscoverU  founded by the late Shayk Muhammad Alshareef (May Allah  have mercy on him) have a dua class for kids and it is so much fun. I had my kids take it and we still use some of the tools we learnt from that class in building our art of making dua.

4.     Practice what you preach and be a role model for your kids, let them see that you always rely on Allah for all your needs. Show them how to always hold on to the rope of Allah and to always rely on him as he is the only one who never disappoints us.

Ultimately teaching our kids about the power of dua from a young age will help them learn to rely more on Allah than humans. Not only would we increase their love for Allah, but it is also a way to teach them resilience that when mommy and daddy are not here Allah is always there for them.

May Allah always make us people of dua and tawakkul.

                                                                                                                            By UmmZ 

A Tawaf to remember

I had freshened up, dressed up and feeling excited. I was waiting to receive a message from one of the sisters I planned to do tawaf with that it was time to head out. The twins were asleep, and I thought to myself this would be an easy swap as soon as my husband returns.

Then I got a text from my husband. He was asking in his usual polite fashion if I would not mind rescheduling my tawaf till after fajr so that he could go ahead and perform his 2^nd Umrah with the group now. My heart sank when I read his message at first. I had planned to go for tawaf with some lovely sisters I had bonded with during the trip, and I was really looking forward to it. I also knew that going for the tawaf after fajr meant I would have to go by myself since the sisters were going that evening.

After reminding myself about the purpose of this trip and wanting to increase deeds that would bring me closer to Allah, I said yes to his request. I was willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of Allah.

I could barely sleep throughout the night. The group chat was buzzing with updates about the group umrah. The ladies who went were able to pray and make dua at the Hateem (Hijr Ismail) and most of them were also able to touch the Yemeni corner of the Kaaba.

When my husband arrived after fajr, I made fresh wudu and headed out to do my tawaf. I was by myself, and I was nervous, but I decided to power through. Before heading out I put some grocery bags in my drawstring bag. A beautiful sister I had met on the trip had shared a reflection on how she keeps empty grocery bags with her to give anyone who might be holding their shoes in their hands during tawaf. It is an amazingly simple act, but it inspired me in a lot of ways on how we should never minimize deeds no matter how small they might seem. As someone who suffers with imposter syndrome, I debated if doing this would mean I am copying, trying to be a “wannabe” good Muslima. I fought back the negative self-talk, renewed my intention reminded myself I wanted to maximize any rewards during my tawaf.

Right before I started my tawaf I made dua to Allah to bless the sister who inspired me to carry the grocery bags. I prayed that if I found anyone to offer a bag to Allah should reward her immensely.

 I usually wear dresses with pockets, and I had put the grocery bags in my pockets to be able to get them out quickly if I encountered anyone who needed it. It must have been on my second or third circuit of tawaf, I spotted a sister who had her shoes under her armpit. I immediately offered her a bag to carry her shoes. She looked at me with a big smile on her face. She had a happy and surprised look at the same time (like who carries grocery bags around in tawaf lol… I smiled back at her and in my mind as if our minds are communicating, I am responding in my head “I know right? I learned it from Sr. N), she said shukran and we both continued with our tawaf. I honestly could not believe I found someone to give a bag to, I raised my hand and made dua again for the sister who inspired me.

 As I continued my tawaf on my fourth circuit, I got to a part where there was a lot of pushing and shoving. I tried to stay calm. I reminded myself of all the naseeha we had received from our group shuyooks emphasizing repeatedly not to push or shove no matter how less than ideal other people might behave. (May Allah reward all of them and their families immensely for all the beneficial knowledge).

As I was trying to find my way out through the crowd, I felt a hand tugging on my drawstring bag. I looked back and I saw an elderly woman, in her eighties. I noticed she was holding it for support in midst of all the crowd. I initially thought she just needed to get a grip because of the shoving but as I continued my tawaf, I realized she continued to hold on to my drawstring bag. I turned around and smiled at her, then I grabbed her hand, and tucked it under my armpit as I navigated through the crowd with her ensuring she had the support she needed. She smiled back at me, and we continued our tawaf together.

 She immediately signaled to look at my tawaf counter to see where I was in the circuit, and she showed me hers as well. I was two circuits ahead of her. When I finished my last circuit, she looked at me with a sort of sadness in her eyes that I was going to leave her behind, and I honestly, I was going to initially because I was thinking of the technical aspects, a tawaf is seven circuits, I am done with my seven circuits. But I remembered this was nafl tawaf, I could always repeat it, Alhamdulillah for good health, I had the physical strength to do another full seven circuits if I wanted to. I also remembered one of shuyook’s naseeha, that we should not get too caught up in the technicalities of the process but to make sure our hearts are softened to surrender. I smiled and signaled to her I would finish with her and to keep going. I held on to her and completed her tawaf with her before we proceeded to go Pray at maqam Ibrahim.

After the prayer, she hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. As she was hugging me, she also raised her hands towards the Kaaba and made dua. I did not understand what she was saying but I could tell it was from her heart because we were both crying our eyes out as I said “Ameen” to her duas. She showed me her name tag and told me she was from Bangladesh, and I told her I was Nigerian. She took out her phone and requested I take a picture with her with my mask off which I obliged (even though I do not like taking pictures and I usually decline). I also took a picture of the Kaaba for her. We both went to drink Zam Zam and then parted ways.

As I walked back to the hotel, I could not believe what my heart just experienced. I was initially disappointed I could not go for tawaf with the group of sisters, but Allah had planned something different for me unbeknownst to me. I thought to myself at any given point in our lives, we are exactly where we need to be by Allah's design. And sometimes it can be difficult to see or imagine how things would unfold but we must hold on and trust in Allah’s plans for us.

My experience that morning was something my heart needed, and I did not even realize. I wondered if my encounters might have been a dua come true for the people I met. Did they make a dua to Allah for some relief or a dua by their loved ones for them? I wondered if Allah used me as a means of answering someone's dua, to serve them in his house. Subhan Allah! Glory be to Allah the one worthy of all praise.

“Ya Allah, my Rabb! please use me however you see fit. I am your humble slave at your service, responding to your call. Please grant me the humility and wisdom to always answer your call and race towards deeds that would bring me closer to you, Ya Allah, purify my heart and rid it of riya (showing off), fill my heart only with ikhlas (sincerity) in my intentions and actions.”

                                                                                                                                                    Umm Z

 

A Lesson In Submission

 

                                               

Sometimes we must experience brokenness to find Sakeenah. We must fall so we can learn to stand, feel empty and vulnerable so we can fully submit and experience wholeness.

Allah has promised us that we will be tested. "Do people think that they will be left alone saying we believe, and they will not be tested?” (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:2)

I remember looking at the pathology report, the dreaded words were there "Breast cancer". I sighed and texted my sister back to acknowledge I had seen it and jumped into action mode. What is the next step? how do we find a good oncologist for mom? what would treatment look like?

I think the first week after the diagnosis, I was in overdrive mode, I did not pause to process anything and soon I was emotionally exhausted. I quickly realized that my emotional exhaustion was not going to help me in anyway, it only stressed me further, I was not thinking rationally. I had to come to terms quickly that I am in a situation I had absolutely no control over. So, I did what should have been my initial response... I submitted to my Rabb, the lord of all mankind.

1.     I accepted that Allah decreed this, and Allah is Al-Lateef the most kind, Al Wadud the most loving. He never decrees anything for us out of hate, he truly cares about us, he loves us more than we could love ourselves or loved ones, and all his decree is good and out of extreme love and kindness even if my human brain cannot comprehend it in the moment. 

2.     Allah is Al-Hakeem the wisest, he is wise and there is absolute wisdom behind any and every of his decree in our lives. Right before my mother’s diagnosis, I was at a point where I was yearning to know and love Allah more. I really wanted to establish a connection in times of ease so that I do not become a slave who only comes to her lord in times of need, but Allah is all wise and he knows us more than we know ourselves and he understands our needs more than we do so he brings along what he knows is best for us to get us closer to him in this life and the hereafter. 

3.     My mother’s strength was remarkable, may Allah continue to bless her and keep her steadfast. She reminded me that Allah is the ultimate healer. She would say may Allah guide the doctors to the best treatment plans, and may he make whatever treatment they choose for me work for me. Subhan Allah, I was looking for the best doctors, but my mother realized it is not merely by the doctors but through the healing power of Allah As-Shaafi (the ultimate healer)

4.     My mother also reminded me of prophet Ayyub (AS) she would say may Allah who granted healing to prophet Ayyub after many years of illness grant me healing. The story of prophet Ayyub also gave me a new lens to look at things, from the perspective of Shukr (gratitude). The story of prophet Ayyub talks about how he would acknowledge that the years Allah gave him good health and wealth far exceeds the number of years he had been in difficulty, hence he needed to remain a grateful slave. Indeed, the blessings of Allah on us far outweighs our perceived struggles or difficulties. Every breath we take, every heartbeat, every morsel of food we consume is a blessing from our Rabb.

5.      In difficulty sometimes a lesson in Sabr is learnt. Going through all the tests, waiting for results was nerve wracking. But being patient that whatever has been decreed will not pass us by and Allah is the best of planners, and his timing is always best. 

6.     A lesson in submission; Learning to truly submit. There were times I stayed up all night, googling treatments, worrying about what would happen only to get up in the morning thoroughly exhausted but my anxiety had not changed anything.. I had to accept some things were out of my control and I had to learn to truly submit to the will of Allah and trust in his decree, acknowledge my weakness and limitations as a human being and know that my lord is always near, and he responds to the invocation of the one who calls and that he will see us through. Submission brings peace and makes it easier to go through the journey. 

7.     Shaytan wants us to wallow in sadness and anxiety, but Allah has told us, “Do not despair in the mercy of Allah" Allah is sufficient for us as believers. 

8.     It is financially tasking paying for cancer care, but Allah is Al-Ghanee the self-sufficient, Ar-Razaq the provider so to him we turn to ask for our needs and provisions. The beautiful thing is Allah is Al-Wahab, the giver of gifts, he gives to us unconditionally whether we are deserving or not. Perhaps Allah is using this as a means to purify our wealth or even our sins and he is able to replace it in many folds without measure. 

9.     Cancer diagnosis can be emotionally challenging, but we take solace knowing that our Rabb is As-Salam the source of peace, the one free from any imperfections and I trust he will grant my troubled heart peace, that he will make the Quran the light of my chest and the dispeller of my worry and anxiety. I remember my sister joking and saying if worry was a person, then that person would be me. I try to be optimistic, but I worry a lot as well I tend to think of worst-case scenarios. Partly because I want to mentally prepare myself in case the outcome is not what I was hoping for. 

10.  Having the best assumption of my lord and reminding myself repeatedly that Allah is most kind, most merciful. He never burdens us more than we can handle. In our case we had access to healthcare; we had the means to pay for the care through the grace of my Rabb. We had transportation to and from our appointments, no significant adverse reactions to the treatment that required hospitalization. So, l ask myself, "which of the favors of my lord can I deny?